This is the last time

I will ever love you, and I mean it, with the nerves coming out of my body, like I’ve meant all the words previously said, I could write you until my fingers numb away, until the breaking dawn, but what good will it do? My offer stud and you chose.
By now I have seen many things on earth and the thing that was painful to see, was the heart of man, it dreams and never rests, it’s a bad deal.

The burden of my soul, worn out, completely, more tired than my own legs, sick of using my heart day after day, here I am on this bed at this time waiting for the final words to come out and release me from this golden prison.

Your heart at the surface of your skin, your hands, your smile almost lost around a cry, this heart of yours, so poor, so plain, and this step of yours looking for me where I have not gone, all this that you do and don’t do, sometimes is like a way of fighting with you.
I’m done, finally found that life goes on without you and the world still turns when you’re not around, at a distance, you, unknown, beloved whom I kept silent, gaze that I have not seen, lie that I was told and always believed.

I thank you for everything and more, I could never describe how far the knowledge that you provide me will go, everything done in the name of love, is done beyond good and evil, that was how I loved you, beyond understanding.

Listening for voices but it’s the choices that make us who we are, I’ll go my own way, even seasons have changed, I’ll just burn those new leaves over, the hair in my eyes it never really disguise what I was thinking..

There's only so much that our heart can grow, then everything else starts to overflow but we were young and in love back then there was no way of knowing, when you are in the infinite state of infatuation, a feeling, no word or emotion could ever come close to describing, you feel as though this life is worth living. And when you lose it, it’s unreal. It’s a pain I can’t describe. I now know from my suffering that the time period in which I did feel this happiness was worth it. There are few moments in life in which I believe we find true happiness, a moment in which everything stands still and every emotion thought or worry is gone, and you’re a single soul floating in a world of ecstasy. It’s a feeling I wouldn’t trade for anything. There is no real conclusion to this, so we pushed and we pulled with our nerves of steel, you had the pedals and I had the wheel and the terrible truthis we never knew where we were going.

My only advice for you: bury it, there are many silent men under the ground who will take care of it, don’t leave it there, bury It and look up, look towards heaven… you know this one pretty well, it’s not the place we go when we die, it’s that moment in life when we actually feel alive, so live for that moment..

It’s not said, it gets to our eyes, our hands, trembles, struggles, but it wins us over.